Archive for the 'Dingoisms' Category

The flesh adhering to the clogs

Thursday, July 27th, 2006

I’ve stumbled on a website listing of late 19th century obituaries from Sault Ste. Marie - a city that straddles the Michigan/Ontario border. Unlike today’s vaguely-worded, pastel-coloured “loving tributes,” Victorian death notices were often gruesomely detailed.

There are lots of funny, poignant, and unnerving death notices in this list. Here are a few of my favorites:

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Saturday, April 22nd 1899 Page 4
Wolverine Waifs
A sad suicide was committed Tuesday Morning at Menominie
Mrs. Chas. Peterson, a woman about 30 years of age, the wife of a kind husband and mother of two small children cut her throat from, ear to ear with a bread knife, severing the windpipe and esophagus. Three doctors worked on her nearly four hours but could not save her life. The woman had been in a diseased state of mind ever since the birth of a babe last fall. [Ed Note: Postpartum!]
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Thursday, July 14, 1887 Page 4
John Anderson, an employee of the S. N. Wilcox Lumber Company’s mill at Whitehall, was cut in two on the 6th, his body falling in two pieces on each side of the edger saw.
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Thursday, June 23, 1887 Page 7
On the 15th inst. while J. C. Ryan and Harry Treloar were drilling out a blast which had missed fire in the Paint River Mine at Crystal Falls, the blast went off, blowing off the heads and arms of both men and horribly mangling their bodies.
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Thursday, May 12, 1887 Page 4
A terrible accident occurred in the rolling mill of the Hubbard Iron company, at Hubbard,, Ohio, shortly after 2 o’clock on the morning of the 6th. Engineer Griffith Phillipps, aged 29 years in passing around the ore crusher oiling the bearings, was caught in the wheels and dragged into the crusher. He was mangled out of all semblance of humanity, the flesh adhering to the clogs. He leaves a wife and 3 children.
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Saturday September 17th 1898 Page 1
A Fatal Accident
Gibson Pratt, the bright 2½-year-old son of Mr. and Mrs. Pratt, of the Canadian Soo, fell headfootmost onto a pointed nail Monday. The nail was sticking up in a walk and perforated the unfortunate child’s forehead, inflicting a wound that resulted fatally Wednesday. The funeral occurred yesterday afternoon.
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Thursday, July 21, 1887 Page 2
Near, Logansport, Ind., at an early hour on the morning of the 12th, W. A. Garner was awakened by some one groping around the room. Seeing a form at the window, he thought it was a burglar, and he fired at it. The body fell. When he got a light he found he had shot his wife and she was dead.
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October 13, 1894 P 4
The State of Superior.
John Ravell, a farmer near Ironwood, attempted to thaw out a stick of dynamite in an oven in his home Monday. It exploded, instantly killing him and a five-year-old son. His wife and a six-year-old daughter received injuries from which they will die. One other member of the family was unhurt. The house was wrecked.
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October 24, 1891 Page 7
George Coe, or Smith, the negro who was lynched by a mob in Omaha, Neb., recently, had his back broken in three places and sixteen wounds on his head. Notwithstanding these facts, the coroner testified in court that he died of fright.


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So.

Saturday, July 15th, 2006

It’s getting real hairy in Lebanon. But I won’t bore you or insult your intelligence by attempting to describe the erratic situation over there. Instead, I write on a humanitarian mission, to bring sweet relief to soldiers –of any banner– the only way I know how.

Another | One More


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Wednesday, July 12th, 2006


Fuck Yeah!